the lines are close to suicide

The thing is, I just fall for boys too easily. I'm sorry if I scare you. I never mean to. I don't mean to smother. I just want something....fantastic. Something that's like cocaine. Something to make everyone jealous just by the looks we give each other. You're pretty amazing, and I'm pretty hopeful for the best. But I'm preparing for the worst. I always think about what could be and what I want but I never think about what anyone else wants. I just hope someone will be there for me. I really wish you could be the boy of my dreams, I know you could be. You're probably the most I've ever gotten my hopes up for in the past two years on someone. I'm just, hoping so much. I really want to be everything to someone so good. Someone so, good to me. It's really not so much to ask for. Just a little time dedicated to me and cuddling. Someone who is in it for more than three months. I want something....great.

i hurt my head before i think it through.

i get the stupidest little crush on boys who seem so perfect but underneath everything they're nothing more than lies and deceptions. they're just trying to get what they've gotten from so many before me. but i'm not falling for it. they may get my mind, but they won't get my heart. i'm proud to say that i've given away my heart twice and had it broken once. as for breaking hearts, i do believe i've only done so once. and i regret it. i will always love him but i won't dwell on it because i know it's just a standard that i'm setting for other guys. he was amazing. and i want other boys to be better than him. i want my relationships to be better than what we had. i want the world in a man's eyes. it's nothing major, i'll know when i kiss him, hold him.

valetines day is dumb