this is how i feel inside...

I would love it if I could find him. He would have large, warm hands to hold mine. To hold my face. He wouldn't care what I do to myself, but rather what I do to the relationship.

Why do I always get the shortend of the stick? People tell me I'm lucky, I'm beautiful, I'm going to be somebody. But I want to be with someone. I'm better when I am. I'm more beautiful with someone, than I am alone.

I'm just so lonely. I love my friends, but they can only do so much. I want to be intimate. I want to be a hopeless romantic with someone. I want the stupidest little thing that EVERYONE takes for granted. That's all.

we're all hopeful and then let down.

i've read the great gatsby. i never understood it until just now. until i've been talking to a guy about what he sees in this girl. he's putting her on a pedestal. he's making her seem perfect. i mean, maybe she is, but he's making her more than what she is. do we not learn anything from our mistakes? we all do this. we make someone seem so perfect, and then we're let down. we're hopeful that they're this....god....and we're let down. i'd like to meet someone that was better than what i made them out to be. someone who sets the bar above what i do. a boy who makes it so hard to walk from him, fight him, turn away and leave him for the night.


i'm just looking, hoping, dreaming. i need to find him. (read past entry of copied blogs for details)